I have been called a perfectionist as long as I can remember.
And often I feel like the concept can get a bad rep.
In the era that currently is full of pop psychology and therapy speak, it can often be described as as a bi product of social anxiety or a defence mechanism for various forms of trauma.
I will admit, sometimes, yes, not doing something good enough means paying a financial or professional penalty and missing out on opportunities. And that sucks. And sometimes the stakes are high for this.
AND… then there is the other thing…
The absolute pleasure of doing something well. Of entering flow state. The immense satisfaction of being able to communicate something perfectly. To be apart of or to give a very specific experience.
That is my high.
If it’s one thing I will carry with me for the rest of my life, from my past in the performing arts, it’s the sense of being part of pure magic happening. I do not think there is any drug on this earth that can replace that. The be in total harmony with other people in the flow state.
So yes, sometimes I can get upset and annoyed when I don’t achieve what I wanted too. Because it’s the ultimate fomo. I can get disappointed when a painting doesn’t turn out the way that I wanted it too. Is it still good? Most of the time it is. I’m just a little disappointed about not being able to touch the sky every time.
So yes, you may call me a perfectionist. I like to think that I’m simply expecting magic to happen, and I’m sometimes disappointed if it doesn’t.